Is Senior Sex an oxymoron?\u00a0 Not at all, although naturally there are some changes in sexuality associated with aging. \u00a0\u00a0Changes can be both physical and mental. Some are controllable, while others may not be. But most can be dealt with quite successfully. I find it ironical that in my seventies I am having my most consistently active physical life ever.\u00a0 What\u2019s going on? Some explanation, please.<\/p>\n
First, maintaining good health is important. Keeping fit is important, with a focus on maintaining one\u2019s physical stamina and appearance. \u00a0A couple can adjust to the natural changes of aging that occur gradually and inexorably. However if couples take on considerable excess weight, that can significantly affect both physical ability and mental desire.<\/p>\n
If sexual responses become somewhat slower, there is also more time for closeness and consideration. If there is not the vigor or stamina of youth, there is also less internal pressure\/drive\/need to get things done. \u00a0This can involve more flexibility, which can have positive value with an appropriate partner. There can be a more loving experience compared to simply needing immediate relief of an urge.<\/p>\n
Having \u201can appropriate partner\u201d becomes particularly important with aging. What may be reduced in terms of spontaneous sexuality can be readily made up for by an experienced and understanding partner. We are seniors, not kids (thank God). If one is open to sexuality happening at most any time, then there is no loss if occasionally full sexuality is not accomplished or other approaches are used. There are lots of opportunities. Our default position is to go for it if either one of us has an interest and the partner is in good health and readiness. We expect to continue to be sexually\/physically active for our entire lives together, making whatever adjustments may be appropriate with developing age.<\/p>\n
There are medicinal aids if needed, although all medicines come with side effects. An interesting thing about Viagra is that its effect is not to get an erection but to maintain an erection until something is done about it. Thus Viagra generates pressure to have sex, as well as taking over the role of what an experienced partner could contribute to the sexual encounter.\u00a0 I have tried Viagra, but we find going natural to be better overall for both of us.<\/p>\n
Bottom line \u2013 Senior Sex is a great thing, with advantages and disadvantages compared to youthful adventures. I am convinced by experience that Senior Sex is absolutely the right thing when one is a senior. Wouldn\u2019t make any sense to want to go back to being a kid at this point anyway.<\/p>\n
p.s. I recommend Emily Nagoski’s book “Come As You Are” for a mature approach to shared sexuality.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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