{"id":406,"date":"2011-02-01T19:22:22","date_gmt":"2011-02-02T00:22:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/?p=406"},"modified":"2021-03-12T17:37:45","modified_gmt":"2021-03-12T22:37:45","slug":"comments-on-big-little-wolf%e2%80%99s-daily-plate-of-crazy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/?p=406","title":{"rendered":"Comments on Big Little Wolf\u2019s Daily Plate of Crazy"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently came upon this well-written and challenging blog\u00a0http:\/\/dailyplateofcrazy.com\/<\/a>\u00a0The author\u00a0 (BigLittleWolf, or BLF) discusses personal issues of family, relationships, work, etc. from the perspective of a single mother. Here are some of my Comments on her blog and on similar blogs. They can be put in perspective by referencing them to\u00a0her original postings if you wish. The bold heading is a brief identification of the nature of her original post. These topics are different from\u00a0my usual ones\u00a0and present an opportunity for me to write about some issues that I usually don\u2019t cover. But I also see that the author\u2019s situations and concerns are different from mine, and thus my blog and her blogs will naturally go their separate ways, even while we continue to learn from one another. Also,\u00a0I have transferred much of my attention from my blog to my Facebook posts, where I condense some serious ideas into the allotted 420 spaces.<\/p>\n

Her Blog Topics are in BOLD. She identifies as BLW.\u00a0Her original post would be necessary to set the full context of my comments.<\/strong>\u00a0My Comments may follow hers and be interspersed, so things may not be clear at times, but this is whatever it is and should not be considered definitive of anything.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

On Dealing with Stress<\/strong><\/p>\n

I do my best to prepare ahead for possible stressors. For example (and this is a way my wife and I differ, which is great), when we go backpacking into the middle of nowhere, I always check maps for cross-paths and emergency exits, in case one of us had a serious accident. I don\u2019t put excess time into this preparation, and thinking ahead about what might happen and my successful resolution means that I don\u2019t worry about it later. I\u2019m the \u201cplan ahead\u201d Boy Scout at times. Fran is adventurous.<\/p>\n

Just got back from jogging (after 40 years, it\u2019s now mostly at hiking tempo) in the snow with my friend Jerry. That helps with stress, plus regular walks with Fran. Get outdoors, if you\u2019re at all like me. Fran would use knitting for self-control, and when she observed that her stitches were tighter when she was stressed, she proceeded to make them looser and said that helped relax her. I can also tell when she needs some particular loving.<\/p>\n

I notice that your other posts focus on dealing with symptoms. I suggest you deal with the causes of stress and you\u2019ll feel better. For example, if the source of the stress is a seriously disturbed adult who is toxic to all those in the vicinity, don\u2019t just meditate or breathe deeply, move away from the stress source. I realize that fixing the problem tends to be called the \u201cguy\u201d thing, but it\u2019s generally a good idea.<\/p>\n

On Memories and Fantasies<\/strong><\/p>\n

Filene\u2019s Basement \u2014 the real one. The store with weekly markdowns and gave away any stock that had been sitting in their open bins for more than four weeks. My sister and mother (and everybody else) trying on clothes for size (before there were dressing rooms). I found (and gleefully bought) a switchblade that was in a box of Italian kitchen knives and small folding knives.<\/p>\n

My fantasy life isn\u2019t too different from my real life nowadays. Maybe I\u2019m getting dull. Maybe I\u2019m fortunate. I\u2019m hoping for a chance for winter backpacking, but not sure if I\u2019ll get the opportunity. Fantasize that this country comes to its senses and realizes that there can be no peace, here or elsewhere, without true justice.<\/p>\n

On Style<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never been one for the latest style or fashion, but do believe in neatness and utility. Not happy with folks who wander about the house half the day without getting dressed.\u00a0 Form and function go together to make good dressing.\u00a0 I\u2019ve worn the old-fashioned academic \u201cuniform\u201d (often Harris Tweed jackets from a nearby thrift store) for years.\u00a0 This keeps me warm (or I remove it if too warm), and it has sufficient pockets. Temperature control in my historic building (windows and steam radiators) is from the early 1900s. Hiking and backpacking is all function for me, and gear and clothing can be hi-tech.\u00a0 Incidentally, clothing does NOT disguise fat or being out of condition (unless you\u2019re wearing a bag, and that\u2019s sort of a giveaway).\u00a0 I kept a set of clothing from high school to wear to my 50th<\/sup> reunion recently. Strange that I had to point this out to folks.<\/p>\n

p.s. Clothing does give a message, of course. When I am invited to speak publicly, I make a point of dressing for my audience in a way that will not get in the way of my message.\u00a0 With young people, it\u2019s neat but casual. When it\u2019s civil disobedience and demonstrations, dress can be business attire (for the benefit of folks who would yell \u201cGet a job\u201d or \u201cHippie\u201d and the like).<\/p>\n

On Sexuality<\/strong><\/p>\n

In my youth in the 1950’s and early 60’s, my\u00a0incredible naivet\u00e9 of practical matters re sex would amaze those born decades later, even though I was well informed and well advised on a technical basis (in that sense, doubtless better informed than today’s youth).\u00a0They\u00a0are more experienced\u00a0in\u00a0practice at a younger age, but sadly ignorant\/misinformed as a byproduct of our current cultural values, particularly as expressed via the media. One good aspect of those prior times was a sense of personal privacy \u2013 what we do not experience today. If that also resulted in some practical naivet\u00e9, then it was not all that bad.<\/p>\n

On the Power of Affectionate Touch<\/strong><\/p>\n

A friend and I were in the process of establishing a relationship, although we had never been intimate or even kissed. The situation was complex (typical for me), and we had soon to be separated by time and distance. On departure, I asked, as a seal of our affection, if I could place my hands gently on her breasts. She agreed.<\/p>\n

Some years later, when the relationship was agreeably concluded but we were bound as good friends forever, I said that I wished to seal this new passage either by a gentle kiss on her lips or by placing my hands on her breasts. She replied \u201cI don\u2019t want to mess my make-up; my breasts.\u201d\u00a0 The relationship was thereby over; the friendship and trust continues.\u00a0 (cf. Yarek Oath, e.g., Gen 47:29).<\/p>\n

On Work and Discipline<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am impressed with your self-discipline in writing a professional post on a daily basis. I write whatever\/whenever (emails to friends, brief lectures on Facebook, etc). When seeing a new doctor years ago, I checked my papers when he was out of the room.\u00a0 In a corner was written \u201cType A Personality.\u201d\u00a0 Rather than take offense (\u201cNot me?\u201d), I was the epitome of mellow when he returned. My family was achievement oriented around values, which is much more challenging than working for worldly success. My family excelled in values, and part of growing up was to learn to put this in perspective (not always easy). I received my Ph.D. from Princeton at age 23, but perhaps the most important thing I\u00a0learned\u00a0was that I did not want my life to mirror my mentors’. Personal values tend to free us; it is society that tends to enchain us.\u00a0 My parents were very loving and forgiving. My father once sent me a card on which he had written \u201cDo your work with honor, not for honor.<\/strong>\u201d Only thing missing was that it wasn\u2019t in Latin.<\/strong><\/p>\n

On importance that partners intellectually stimulate one another <\/strong><\/p>\n

Fran and I definitely help one another grow, and that is important for us. It might not be so important for some others. Can you really be happy sitting together in front of the TV?\u00a0 We don\u2019t own one, so I guess I can\u2019t speak for others. In any case, Fran and I have an amazing relationship. Sometimes it seems almost unbelievable, and I noticed that when I posted about our happiness together, there appeared to be some cynicism\/disbelief that such things could be true.<\/p>\n

Based on this personal life experience, I am led to let folks know that wonderful relationships do exist. I know of a number in addition to Fran and me (my parents, for example), and so, for those who are looking for true love, keep up the search.<\/p>\n

On Romance (posted on Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce<\/em> blog)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Your Valentine\u2019s Day post dealt with Romance.\u00a0 In the words of the song. \u201cI\u2019m a believer.\u201d but perhaps not in the way it might be experienced by some others.\u00a0 The romantic first meeting between Fran and me occurred in a nighttime rain storm.\u00a0 We share romance in the woods under the stars. We do dress up occasionally. Romance is still there, although it does not have the same place as some years ago, because we have so much more of everything else now.<\/p>\n

Then there is the romance of love lost, of hopeless love, where the word could never be spoken. For sheer romance, it doesn\u2019t get more than that, where pain and sweetness are one.<\/p>\n

If you want to feel better (sort of) about no romance, see Blue Valentine.\u00a0 I\u2019m not much for special days, seeing that each day is a gift and a reason to be thankful for my wife Fran. She totally ignores them.\u00a0 So we went for a good brisk hike (reminiscent of how we met).<\/p>\n

NYTimes Love in Six Words (Feb 14, 201)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rainy hike in woods \u2013 downpour love. \u00a0\u00a0(#1062)<\/p>\n

Brilliant, good, fun, not cowed by rules\u00a0 (#1164) \u00a0(Did anybody get this inside joke?)<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently came upon this well-written and challenging blog\u00a0http:\/\/dailyplateofcrazy.com\/\u00a0The author\u00a0 (BigLittleWolf, or BLF) discusses personal issues of family, relationships, work, etc. from the perspective of a single mother. Here are some of my Comments on her blog and on similar blogs. They can be put in perspective by referencing them to\u00a0her original postings if you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1,6,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-406","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-general","category-love","category-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/406","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=406"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/406\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1294,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/406\/revisions\/1294"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=406"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=406"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=406"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}