{"id":92,"date":"2009-12-02T00:17:40","date_gmt":"2009-12-02T05:17:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/?p=92"},"modified":"2010-09-20T17:14:58","modified_gmt":"2010-09-20T22:14:58","slug":"the-impossible-search-for-%e2%80%9cnormal%e2%80%9d-in-sexuality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/?p=92","title":{"rendered":"The impossible search for \u201cnormal\u201d in sexuality."},"content":{"rendered":"

I contributed the following posts to the discussion that followed Women Who Want to Want – NYTimes.com<\/a> <\/strong>by Daniel Bergner (November 24, 2009). A mediocre article generated some interesting comments. I feel sorry for some very unhappy, frustrated and confused people out there. Societal pressure is no help and often can make things worse.My first post:
\nI am not impressed with the article, which is basically a rehash of the impressions of one clinician in the area who gives no hard data. I am a long-time reader of the NYTimes and am disappointed with the superficiality of its current \u201cscience\u201d reporting. The range of human sexuality is enormous and natural. Partners need experience to recognize compatibility and incompatibility (not wishful thinking). Be it necessary as breathing, a finer sense like an exquisite wine, or \u201ca woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle\u201d (some feminists of the \u201860\u2019s) \u2013 it\u2019s fine if your partner is on the same page. Surprising number of wives complain their husbands have no sexual desire or understanding, particularly after a few years of marriage. Getting out of shape is often a factor.<\/p>\n

My second post:
\nThe breath and range of sexuality is enormous and yet \u201cnatural.\u201d As I mentioned in a previous post, it is important that partners are matched in their degree of interest\/disinterest and how they go about it. I met the love of my life about a decade ago. It all goes together for us \u2014 social activities, intellectual pursuits, intimacies, sex, loving care and concern, family. We work to make it happen, but it doesn\u2019t feel like work. We are prepared to adjust to change, and part of my Quaker vow was to help my wife live her life fully and authentically, where ever it might lead her. We know we are together because we want to be. We\u2019re just back from a post-Thanksgiving camping\/hiking trip in the woods, and we had a great time in and out of the tent, with near freezing temperatures and heavy winds. We consider ourselves so fortunate.<\/p>\n

My third post:
\nWhat\u2019s this about having to \u201cwork to stay desirable\u201d? To me, \u201cdesirable\u201d means respecting yourself enough to keep your body healthy and fit. In the bedroom, who cares about the latest fashion in clothes? I\u2019m the one who posted #188. We\u2019re not kids. Staying desirable is no work, it\u2019s fun!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I contributed the following posts to the discussion that followed Women Who Want to Want – NYTimes.com by Daniel Bergner (November 24, 2009). A mediocre article generated some interesting comments. I feel sorry for some very unhappy, frustrated and confused people out there. Societal pressure is no help and often can make things worse.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-92","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=92"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":96,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92\/revisions\/96"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=92"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=92"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.peacefulways.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=92"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}