“Unlike more civilized patriotic Americans who support the Fundamentalist Christian Agenda of self-sufficiency and the caste system, during my long life of sin, I have lied, stolen, cursed, cheated (on tests and lovers), taken X-rated photos, seen R-rated movies before age 17, smoked non-cigarettes, used condoms, helped the poor, been friendly with illegal immigrants, and done all sorts of tawdry things….On the other hand, I haven’t supported brutal dictatorships to feed my car or mistakenly bombed innocent families, nor have I stolen my nation’s economy and democracy. I have not sent legal spam, foreclosed on lives, molested anyone, abused women in song and reality, stolen charity, destroyed neighborhoods, poisoned the Earth, sent children to be maimed in war for political advantage, drunk and killed, made everybody fat for profit, sold TV and video sadism, or rioted because my team and country lost. I’m a loser: I’ve never wanted or tried to be #1….I regret not being the saint my society always wanted, but feel proud that I’ve avoided being the devil it seems to demand.”