I was looking at my dog-eared copies of Living the Good Life (Helen and Scott Nearing) and The Complete Homesteading Book. And thinking “what ifs.” I was doing this as a musing only, because we get one life to live and not multiples and we can’t go back anyhow. But nonetheless, “what if” Fran and I had met earlier, say in the early 70’s when we were each dissatisfied with current relationships? It’s an interesting mind game for us – who needs Sim City? At some point we likely would have ended up homesteading like Helen and Scott Nearing, and probably in Vermont or Maine as they did. We might have even discussed our plans with them, as they welcomed visitors. Fran and I would have had much in common with how the Nearings had started out in homesteading decades before, and we would have learned much. They were of the pacifist PYM Quaker sort, war tax resisters (when they owed taxes), and he was forced out of his academic position at U. Penn in WWI because of his pacifist and socialist activities. During the depression they left their urban surroundings for a new lifestyle of subsistence farming. They were highly intelligent, well educated, and maintained some connections with their old friends via their reading and writing. They had no children (I’m assuming Fran and I would have had five children – our current ones) and worked very hard at the Vermont farm. Through dint of hard work and innovative farming techniques, they subsisted comparable to their more established neighbors. In their later years their books coincided with the spirit of the times, and they were feted by many and hated by many. White House invitations depended on who was in the White House. They willingly advised hippies attempting to homestead, but it is interesting that most of these attempts failed (cf. What the Trees Said- Life on a New Age Farm). The only folks I knew in this category bought a small farm near Exton at about the same period (early 70’s), and the couple had chickens (for eggs) and goats (particularly for milk for children sensitive to cows’ milk). After a while they hated the life, hated one another, and divorced and sold the farm to a developer for a large profit that enabled a new life for each of them (strange, how life turns out).
It is noteworthy that the Nearings maintained their intellectual and activist activities with the “outside” world, something that would be important to Fran and me. This distinguished them from (and sometimes antagonized) their traditional New England Republican neighbors of that period. However, they did not have independent money when they arrived (money is something that makes outsiders different and unacceptable – it is a “game” for the outsiders and survival for the natives). A constant worry for subsistence farmers is how they will survive in their old age. There is a great deal of serious poverty in rural Maine, particularly among the elderly. By the time they reached old age, Helen and Scott’s books had achieved such popularity that the royalties could support a conventional middle-class retirement. The right-wing criticized them for having electricity, flush toilets and oil heat in their retirement house, but do we really want folks in their 80’s and 90’s to be living without these things? The Nearings lived to be 91 and 100; it is no virtue that other Mainers sometimes meet their end in their 80’s by essentially freezing to death in their rustic farmhouses. The poverty there is rampant, the Nearings worked to change that, and I am grateful they did not need to die a pauper’s death.
So if the Nearings might have been a model for us, one question would be would we have homesteaded our entire lifetime? For Fran and me, I doubt it. We would have tried something else, not from a sense of failure or giving up on principles, but for the experience of life. Note that the Nearings started their Thoreau experience when Scott was in middle age and Helen a few years younger, and they already had a wealth of experience behind them. Fran and I would have started at a considerably younger age and anticipated a wealth of change and experience ahead of us. What would that “post-homesteading” life have been like for Fran and me? That is another “musing” story.
Here’s the presumed scenario for our “other” life.
Factual background: My former wife received her Ph.D. from Bryn Mawr College in May 1973 and she, without seeking my agreement, arranged to take a position as an instructor at Hebrew University for the 1973-1974 academic year. My Villanova contract was already signed for the academic year, and so we would likely be apart. However, I was able to get approval for an unpaid leave for spring 1974. During fall 1973 it became clear to me how much more relaxed and happy I was apart from Diane. During this same time period, Fran and her partner were struggling in their relationship, and he sometimes treated her quite badly.
The scenario proceeds as follows:
In the fall of 1973 Fran and her partner drive from Canada to Charles County MD to visit her mother and old friends from her youth in that area. Their visit includes camping at Susquehanna State Park. This coincides with Paul’s fall break at Villanova, when Paul plans to do some camping and canoeing – at Susquehanna State Park. He arrives Monday October 8 (a nice twist, our wedding date) and sets up camp near where Fran and partner are camping. Later that day, Paul becomes aware of a row between Fran and partner – unmistakable because of his yelling and screaming. This concludes with his getting in the car and driving loudly away, screaming “I’m leaving.”
Paul, out of consideration, walks over and inquires if everything is OK. Well, obviously things aren’t, but I’m trying to be polite and not too intrusive. We introduce ourselves, and considerable conversation follows. Our talk naturally relates somewhat to relationships in general and our own relationships in particular. We continue this discussion on a hike on one of the trails in the park, where we share some of our common interests.
Fran’s partner does return, more quietly but no more sober, and we make polite conversation among the three of us after that. However, Fran and I agree to continue our friendly relationship by mail and phone.
Long phone conversations can accomplish much, particularly when they include discussions of a personal nature. Our conversations help Fran to acknowledge the futility of her relationship, and she decides to leave the relationship in early November (reality note – it actually took another decade for Fran to leave). On Saturday November 17 Fran moves back to Charles County MD, where she had previously lived.
Meanwhile, Paul is happily continuing with the fall semester at Villanova and also considering another camping trip for himself over the Thanksgiving break. He asks Fran (knowing her interest in the outdoors) if she would like to go on a Thanksgiving canoe trip on one of the tributaries of the Chesapeake (separate tents), and she readily agrees. Canoeing is great, with some rain at night (rain is a common metaphor for change for Fran and me), and the unwritten scenario continues from there….
After some enlightenment on my part, I cancel my plane reservation for Israel. Diane is quite satisfied to continue living her own life at Hebrew University, and before long Diane and I are divorced and Fran is living with me while I teach the spring semester at Villanova after all. We marry in the summer of 1974.
During the academic year of 1974-1975 we make our plans for homesteading. I resign my academic position, and in 1975 we purchase an old farm (down payment comes from our saved house money) in East Topshaw VT not too far from the town of Newbury VT that I had visited in my youth.
We don’t get rich at homesteading, but many expenses are minimized because we keep a cow plus a few goats and chickens for our own use and for barter. Our cash crops are mostly hay and greens, and a good cash business comes from the stand of sugar maples on the farm. We become close friends with an experienced neighbor family with whom we can exchange or share chores as needed (this is essential for a small family farm). I occasionally teach as an adjunct at U. Vermont, to maintain these skills and contacts. We have our five children in our first ten years on the farm, after which Fran has her tubes tied. A family farm can be a good experience for children, and we give much attention to their education. But a wider world view is needed, and they attend state colleges for higher education. By that point in time more is needed by us (the parents) also, and in the year 2000 (after a quarter century of homesteading), we pass the property on to our children. We move overseas for a Quaker-related position Paul has taken in conjunction with the UN and have many new experiences and travels in conjunction with this new life experience. At the moment (2009) we divide our time between travels to Burma, Thailand and the United States and are anticipating a gradual retirement.
And so the world turns. Are there still parallel universes out there?
Comment by admin — August 16, 2009 @ 12:55 pm