Paul's Perambulations a personal blog

August 6, 2012

Sex and Discipline

Filed under: Family,Love — admin @ 10:42 pm

No, I don’t mean “discipline” during sex. I’m referring to discipline regarding sexual activity, comparable to how we may seek to discipline ourselves in regard to our eating and sleeping behaviors.  It may seem strange/incongruous even to consider sexuality in terms of good habits, when we are accustomed to hearing so much about freedom and spontaneity. But particularly for any couple in a long-established relationship, good habits have their value. There is frequently a substantial decline in sexual activity that may mirror a decline in closeness and intimacy. This gets excused by saying “That’s the way life is” and “We’re getting older.” And of course, we do all get older.  Fran and I find a value in having a regular schedule, with flexibility as circumstances may generate, that is not too different from the traditional Wednesday/Saturday schedule of some married couples (I will not go into specific details, sensibly). This works well to insure that we do not become like most married couples of our age (60’s), who seem to have totally let sexuality lapse in their relationship and are thereby missing out on an important part of  a relationship.

1 Comment »

  1. Twelve ways sex helps you live longer is the title of the article at

    This article is illustrative of the low level of most so-called health information that is available online. It demonstrates a near-total ignorance of scientific methodology.

    Here’s my summary of what the article actually is about: If you are healthy, interesting, vibrant, you are more likely to live longer, as well as being more likely to find yourself having sex with a partner than if you’re unhealthy, dull and depressed Duh.

    Here are my specific responses/explanations for each of the twelve “ways” the author claims sex makes you live longer.

    1. People with colds are less likely to be making love.
    2. Burns about 30 to 50 calories (no more than jogging, but I find sex better than jogging, so I hope the author can do better than this).
    3. This is as ignorant as comment #1, only on a more serious topic. Men and women who have heart attacks have a heart disease, and heart disease does not lend itself to the strenuous exercise involved in making love. If your heart is failing, you sit on the sidelines.
    4. Same argument of faulty logic as in #1 & #3, confusing correlation with causation.
    5. They may be on to something here. When fully engaged in sex, I tend to feel no pain. As they say, one’s brain descends to one’s private parts. Also note that terror (or most any strong emotion) also reduces pain sensitivity.
    6. Reduces stress. I’ll vouch for that.
    7. This is author’s usual college-freshman confusion of correlation with causation.
    8. See #7.
    9. There are psychological benefits to sex. Agree, if this is properly interpreted. We feel better afterwards (assuming we were interested in the first place). “The more often you have sex, the less depression and stress you have.” Um…who would be gung ho to have sex with someone who is already stressed out or depressed? Again, a simple-minded correlation/causation error.
    10. The details of the research are not presented here and neither I nor the author has the interest to follow this further. Perhaps it is simply that sexual activity helps to reduce blood pressure, or that people with higher blood pressure are less healthy and thus feel less inclined to sexual activities. I’d need to see independent replication for some of the wilder claims before I could believe them, including controls for the fact that more highly educated (which correlates with healthier) people are more likely to engage in more “liberated” sexual practices.
    11. Improves smell – look how the author says “in mice” for changes in the olfactory lobe (which in mice is quite different from our olfactory lobe, by the way).
    12. Possibly, perhaps logically, and if so, I have a lot of sex still ahead of me.

    Comment by admin — September 23, 2012 @ 11:13 pm

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